EP21 How To Be Great at Eating Pussy (5 Ways!)

Want to be great at eating pussy? April and Amy from the Shameless Sex Podcast interview me about how to be better at eating pussy. I share with them why we’re not great at eating pussy, why I love it so much, and my five steps to being better at eating pussy.

April Lampert and Amy Baldwin are the hosts of the Shameless Sex Podcast, a show designed to inspire radical self-love, sexual empowerment, and shame-free intimacy.

Shameless Sex is unabashed real talk about sexuality with a playful twist. From Pussy Praising to How to Be A Badass in the Bedroom, Amy and April are not afraid to tell it like it is.

The Eating Pussy Key Takeaways (or what we talk about in the show)

• Why it’s important to take your time (go slower than slow, and then slower than that)
• Body positing and how to get cozy for the long-haul (the arm tuck/belly trick)
• How to read your partner’s arousal levels (flushing, writhing, and moaning)
• The power of getting feedback from your partner (shortcuts to orgasm)
• How to increase your oral stamina

The Eating Pussy Transcript

Shameless Sex: Hey everyone. My name is Amy, I am a certified sex educator and a sex and relationship coach. I also co-own a sex shop called “Pure Pleasure Shop” in Santa Cruz and I am one of the co-hosts of the Shameless Sex podcast with April.

Hi, all, I’m April. I’m boss-queen-sex toy mogul of “Hot Octopus”, an international pleasure products company. I basically run the shit and we focus on penis toys and I am the co-host of the Shameless Sex podcast.

Thanks for having us, Shaun Galanos!

When this podcast topic came out, I was like, “Oh, awesome!” I’m so stoked to have a male perspective from you as an expert on the topic.

Tell us about the work that you do and how did you get where you are at this point in your life?

Shaun Galanos: It’s a fun origin story about The Love Drive. I started The Love Drive in 2014 and basically, it exists to help people have more sex and more love through open, honest and playful communication. That’s it.

I figured out along the way, that the best way to get something is to ask for it. I don’t play games because I don’t know the rules, I don’t understand the rules. For me, to just be honest and playful has always gotten me what I wanted. That’s my whole goal.

The Love Drive started after traveling. I used to live in tech, I didn’t like tech. I used to live in the Bay Area for several years. I worked for Yahoo for maybe seven years and then I left and I did a bunch of traveling.

When I came back I was completely broke, so broke and living in San Francisco, which is not a great place to be broke. I started driving a taxi, an actual taxi before Uber and Lyft.

Driving a taxi is super fun until it’s not because it’s not very cerebral— you’re just driving people around and trying to figure out traffic patterns.

What I did was I set up GoPros and lights and microphones in the taxi and I started interviewing people about sex and love and I called it The Love Drive. That’s where the idea came from.

I did it because I have this bottomless “well of passion and energy” to talk about sexuality and intimacy.

There are some things that I know a lot about but there are more things that I’m just really curious about. I just love talking to people about it and normalizing behaviors that for the most part are totally normal, but that we don’t think are that normal.

That’s been the goal of The Love Drive, it’s just to educate and entertain and talk about something that we so desperately need to talk about more.

Shameless Sex:  I have a really important question for you, Shaun Galanos.

Why do you think a lot of folks aren’t so great at eating pussy?

Shaun Galanos: I think it’s a multi-part answer.

Number one is that we’re not taught how to have sex.

Even in sex ed, they’re not telling you the mechanics of how to be a good lover. I think, first of all, we don’t talk about it.

We’re not taught how to have it and if you look at porn as an educator, it’s not a great tool. It’s not real sex.

I went on PornHub today. For research purposes…

Read the rest of the Eating Pussy Transcript here.

Shameless Sex: Mhmm [laughing]

Shaun Galanos: There are 51,000 blowjob videos in the category and there are 10,000 pussy licking videos.

Shameless Sex: Of course, always less. Sounds about right.

Shaun Galanos: From a porn perspective, number one— it’s just so much easier to shoot a blowjob video than it is a pussy eating video because of the angles. It’s hard to get in there. We’re not taught how to have it.

Second is— we don’t talk about sex. I don’t talk about sex with my male friends. I talk about it more than most because of the vocation that I’m in, but for the most part, we don’t talk about techniques.

We don’t talk about exactly how to do what we do. We don’t talk about how to make women come. The extent of the conversations that most men have is they’ll say, “Oh, I got laid last night.” And they’ll be like “Tight.”

Shameless Sex: “Awesome.”

Shaun Galanos: “Did she blow you? Fuck, yeah!” And that’s it.

That’s how deep we go with talking about sex.

Shameless Sex: You guys don’t talk about how much you love eating pussy? Like, “I love eating pussy.” Nothing like that?

“She had the best tasting pussy I’ve ever had.”

Shaun Galanos: Nope.

Shameless Sex: I feel like our friend group does that. Do guys do that with each other? I’ve heard them say that, “I love eating pussy.”

Shameless Sex: I don’t think it’s common though. I don’t think it’s a common conversation.

Shameless Sex: I was hoping it was. Maybe they’re trying to impress me.

Shameless Sex: Yeah, they’re talking about it with us because of what we do, but I don’t know if they’re hanging out with their guy friends being like,

“Yeah, last night I went down on my woman and her pussy was just so juicy and on fire, it was so delicious, I loved every second, I got juices all over my face.”

Whereas us, when we’re telling stories, as women—

Shameless Sex: “The come went into my eye and my ear a little bit.”  I was like,  “Oh man, thankfully it didn’t go in my eye,” or something like that.

Yeah, uh-huh. That’s that masculinity thing again.

Shaun Galanos: There it is. We’re just not taught to talk about it. It’s awkward and from my perspective, the best way to get better at anything is through practice, of course, and feedback.

Without feedback, we’re just left to figure it out for ourselves. You can get better at anything by doing lots of it, but with instruction, you get so much better.

I think there’s a lack of communication overall, and then also during the act itself. It can be really difficult to say,

“Do you like what I’m doing? You want me to go softer or harder? What about this?”  

“Do you like you like the in and out motion or more of a circular motion?”  

If you’re not used to talking about that, it’s hard to break that barrier.

I think that’s another reason why people aren’t so great at eating pussies, it’s because we don’t talk about it.

Shameless Sex: I would like to know what you’ve actually seen in porn, because you were on PornHub today? Did you see anything on there that even resembled like “Oh, yeah, that looks like great pussy-eating.The women’s enjoying that.”

Shaun Galanos: I’m not going to lie to you, I didn’t look at any videos.

Shameless Sex: I watch a lot of threesome porn and typically, one of the performers is slapping it, getting it ready and then going and eating her pussy, from what I’ve seen.

If it’s two men on one woman, it’s always the woman doing all the work, the man’s not eating her pussy. She’s usually sucking cock, and then has something inside of her.

Shameless Sex: A lot of reasons why people aren’t so great at eating pussy is because their number one sex educator is either showing them imagery of it not even being on the table, or two, the way that they’re doing it isn’t generally what pussies absolutely love anyways.

Shaun Galanos: The list goes on. I have two more reasons why.

What I’m really interested in is the fact that it is kind of complicated, and it can be a bit intimidating, in the sense of, if we’re talking about female arousal versus male arousal.

You probably know about Naomi Wolf’s book “Vagina”?

Shameless Sex: Mhmm. You gave that to me.

Shaun Galanos: It’s such a good book in which she talks about male arousal being sort of similar to Manhattan. There’s Uptown, Midtown, Downtown. It’s very straightforward. Most men are wired the same way— do this, stroke this and you’ll get this result. And for the most part, it’s true.

Whereas women’s arousal systems are like San Paulo, Brazil during carnival. There are dead-end streets and one-way streets, and everything is different and all women are different. It can be complicated and intimidating because there isn’t just like a thing that works for everybody.

I think that’s another barrier to great pussy-eating. It’s sort of like the Rubik’s Cube that you have to solve every time.

Shameless Sex: Do you feel like your journey with learning how to be a great pussy-eating human has been just trial and error?

Have you read more books other than “Vagina”?

How did you build your skill set and get your Ph.D. in pussy?

Shaun Galanos: Books. Books! Absolutely.

Shameless Sex: What can you recommend to our listeners? Because I know they always ask us for book recommendations.

Shaun Galanos: Doctor Ian Kerner’s “She Comes First” is sort of like The Bible. You don’t have to do all of the steps. There are a lot of steps and some of them work and some of them don’t for different types of people.

I’ve used some of that with some of my own stuff, and sort of molded this thing that doesn’t work for everybody but is highly adaptable and often gets the job done.

Shameless Sex: Is it Nina Hartley? She’s like a staple in the porn industry right, Nina Hartley? Am I saying her last name right? She does an intro to pussy-eating video that’s really great, that my ex-husband watched. I watched it with him and I was like, “Yeah, she’s got some great tips.” It was like an instructional video.

Shaun Galanos: What were the results?

Shameless Sex: I was really shy back then, if you can imagine, about just telling him what I wanted. So I was like, “Let’s watch this video” because I watched it at Pure Pleasure back in the day.

We watched it and he did take a lot of the stuff and then I would add pieces and it was easier for me to communicate with him at the time watching the video.

And then after the video was done, we went into it and it was a lot of the fingers that she used as well, not just the tongue, it was incorporating fingers which had never been done before.

Shaun Galanos: Mandatory, it’s mandatory. It’s almost impossible to do it without the fingers.

Shameless Sex: Yes. Your hands are your friends, everyone. Same for blowjobs.

What’s your last reason why you think people aren’t so great at eating pussy? You had one more.

Shaun Galanos: Because it’s really uncomfortable. It can be really uncomfortable in terms of just body mechanics of being in between legs, if you’re not set up right. I’m a huge fan of just getting the setup dialed.

You’ll just quit before the magic is over.

Shameless Sex: One thing I want to add to that list is there’s this cultural idea.

Oftentimes, people think the pussy is gross. There is the thing about it being more dirty or gross or there’s something about it, whereas the cock seems to be more socially acceptable to put a mouth on versus the pussy.

I have definitely met some female-body folks who don’t love sucking cock. It’s more so they just don’t like really the act of it. They just don’t feel like it, or they don’t come.

I’ve also met some male-body folks who just won’t go down on women. They just don’t like it. They think it’s gross, and that’s kind of a bummer if they’re with a partner that really wants that.

That is a thing, I think that the pussy is socially believed to be more disgusting than a penis.

Shaun Galanos: Yep, I totally agree with you, I’ve heard of these men. I don’t agree that it’s more disgusting. I agree that it’s culturally thought of as more disgusting.

I was reading a Vice article about a dude doesn’t go down on women, but still expects to get blowjobs, which is just mind-boggling, it doesn’t make any sense.

I’m putting your genitals in my mouth and then it’s a tit-for-tat situation, unless you’re in a relationship where that’s been negotiated and that’s okay with you. That’s fine. But for the most part, I think both people want the oral sex.

Shameless Sex: I was the asshole that always got the oral pleasure and never gave it in return until I was in a relationship for a long period of time. So, I’m sorry.

Shameless Sex: You’re apologizing on air?

Shameless Sex: Yes, I’m admitting I was not reciprocating. It was a public apology to all those folks that I hooked up with in my teens and 20’s.

Shaun Galanos: What was your reasoning?

Shameless Sex: I had a whole traumatic experience when I was 15 with this older guy and he did this forceful blowjob situation where he forced my head down and was pushing my neck down and it was really uncomfortable until the point where I had it in my mouth and then just had to push him off me and ran away.

It was really traumatic. I kind of made a promise to myself that the whole cocksucking scenario would only be for special people at special times in my life.

Actually, the first boyfriend I lost my virginity to, who we already talked about— I never gave him a blowjob, came later on.

So there you go, I just released some shame right now, but I had no shame in the whole forceful cock-eating situation. It was more or less not reciprocating oral play back then.

Shaun Galanos: Yeah, that sounds like a traumatic experience and like a normal reaction to that trauma.

Shameless Sex: Yeah, I need to protect myself. It’s not safe. So I’m just going to avoid it altogether. That’s some shame right there.

Shaun Galanos, what do you love about eating pussy?

Shaun Galanos: Oh my god.

Well, number one that it’s so intimate. It’s almost a toss-up as to what’s more intimate: putting someone’s genitals in your mouth or penetrating or letting them penetrate you. I love watching my partner squirm while I eat her out.

I just find it so intimate and I also feel like there’s a great element of control. I’m doing something and then you’re reacting to that thing that I’m doing. I just find it really arousing. I think it’s the best way to make my partner orgasm.  

Statistically speaking, most female-bodied people can’t have orgasms through penetration alone, and I’m a penis-having person.

If orgasms aren’t on the table through penetration, and they can be on the table through oral sex, then that’s what I’m going to do.

Shameless Sex: If you are having penetrative sex, are you almost always eating the pussy and giving some sort of just pleasure that way or and/or if orgasm happens that way before the penetrative sex?

Shaun Galanos: 99% of the time.

Shameless Sex: Oh, he’s good.

Shameless Sex: I have a question on that. Do you have your red wings?

Shaun Galanos: Oh, I’ve never heard that term before but I think the answer is— absolutely.

Is that here? Does it happen on your cheeks?

Shameless Sex: Yeah.

Shaun Galanos: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, I’ve pulled a tampon out with my teeth before at Burning Man.

Shameless Sex: I actually love you now.

I’ve had a guy trim my tampon string and go down on me. Trim it before and then go down, but I’ve never had him pull it out with his teeth. That’s #newgoal.

Shaun Galanos: I flung it with my head and my neck snapped.

I forgot what her name was, this was a long time, this was like eight years ago. Her name was Gummy Bear or something.

Shameless Sex: Burning Man

Shaun Galanos: Very Burning Man, in a sandstorm while “Riders on the Storm” was playing.

Shameless Sex: Oh my God, this is way better than your virginity story.

Shaun Galanos: I’ve had a lot of Burning Man sex, I’m coming out with an episode called “How To Get Laid at Burning Man” and it’s going to be a good one.

Shameless Sex: It’s not written from the perspective of the game. Is it more female-friendly?

Shaun Galanos: It’s Love Drive-centric, for sure.

Shameless Sex: Love Drive-centric. I like that. Did you trademark that?

Shaun Galanos: No, but I should.

Shameless Sex: It sounds like you really do believe ladies first, right? But why do you believe this?

Shaun Galanos: I just think that like physiologically it makes sense. The reality is that when I orgasm I’m much less interested in sex. I think that’s true for one of you two. Is it not?

Shameless Sex: When you orgasm you’re less interested in sex?

Shaun Galanos: Yeah.

Shameless Sex: I think I’m interested in having my partner orgasm and it turns me on more.

Shameless Sex: When I orgasm, I definitely want a cock inside me.

Shaun Galanos: Oh, well, that’s perfect. I think that’s one of the benefits of making your partner come first. They usually want you to penetrate them after. But for me, when I come, I want a sandwich.

I am just not aroused anymore and that’s not to say that I can’t have sex or give oral sex after orgasm or do a massage or do something that gets me eventually back in the mood.

But I’m 35 years old, I don’t have the libido of a 25-year-old anymore. I used to be able to orgasm multiple times with very little refractory period and that’s just not the case anymore.

If I want to stay aroused and excited throughout the lovemaking session, I make sure that I just don’t orgasm.

If the orgasm is the goal and that’s something that they want, then I’m going to make sure that they get it before I get mine, because it’s just harder for me to stay aroused.

Shameless Sex: Do you go in with a negotiation, do you talk about this usually beforehand, like, “Look this is this is how I’m feeling. How do you feel about this?”

Shaun Galanos: No, because I’ve never really been with someone who didn’t really enjoy the fact that I was going to eat them out and that they were going to probably orgasm from it, and that we were probably going to have penetrative sex after, or maybe just watch a movie.

I don’t always have to orgasm when I’m in a sex session. It’s not always the goal.

Shameless Sex: I like that as well.

Shameless Sex: I like his style.

Well, you have five steps for being great at eating pussy. You even wrote a blog post about it and it was a big hit. 

That’s where our listeners are like, “Shut up Amy and April, we just want to hear the steps.”

Shaun Galanos: Are you ready? I haven’t talked about pussy this much continuously and it’s great.

All right, step one: take your time eating pussy. That’s just step one of arousal for women. It’s scientifically proven that women take longer to get aroused than men.

So just based on that, we need to be taking longer in our sex-making, lovemaking session. Number one is to go slow which equals foreplay and lots of it.

I went to Esalen which is close to your house, it’s this massage, hippie, retreat, workshop, getaway place. I don’t know how to describe that place, but they have a massage there, the Esalen massage and it’s it’s excruciatingly slow.

Shameless Sex: It goes slower than slow and then slower than that?

Shaun Galanos: Yeah, that’s how you should eat pussy pretty much, or at least the beginning part of the foreplay that leads up to the pussy-eating should be at the minimum, per people that are time-based— 20 minutes minimum of foreplay that doesn’t include touching any erogenous zones. Maybe breasts, but for sure, definitely no pussy, no vulva.

At the most, there’ll be a graze with the back of my hand, a fingertip graze, just to let you know that I know that you have a pussy and that eventually I’ll be going there.

That’s usually a great way to start, is to just take your time. I play a game sometimes called “find four spots that aren’t traditionally erogenous zones”. So the crook of the elbow, the back of the knee, the nape of the neck, your rib cage. Explore the woman’s body or the man’s body. Explore the body.

Find these non-traditional erogenous zones and remember them for next time because they’re going to come in handy. That’s number one.

Number one is— take your time eating pussy.

Shameless Sex: Yeah, slower than slow and then slower than that. I add slower than that because when people think they’re going slow, they’re actually usually not going slow. They think it’s they’ve slowed down, they’re still moving really fast.

So whatever you all think slow is— slow down.

It isn’t just with the movement, I think you’re also saying there is the technique of going slow when you’re touching. So slowing down even the foreplay and not just trying to go for the pussy right away.

Shaun Galanos: There are a time and place for going right for the pussy or right for the cock, don’t get me wrong. But for the most part, slower than slow and then slower than that is usually the way to go.

Shameless Sex: My pussy likes that you just said that.

Shaun Galanos: Ready for number two? Step two is to get comfortable eating pussy.

Because it’s not a sprint. It gets often a marathon. If we’re doing it slowly, then we’re going to spend a lot of time doing it and the one thing that will get me out of the session is if I’m uncomfortable.

I don’t want to be scrunched up on the bed, I don’t want to be half falling off the bed. I don’t want any part of my body to fall asleep because that means that I’m no longer present because I’m trying to fix this other thing.

I want to get really, really comfortable eating pussy and so I will often ask my partner to scoot up on the bed and get into a diagonal, so that you’re actually using the diagonal of the bed. Their head will be in the very corner and then you’ll be angled diagonally. That means that none of my body is hanging off. I’m comfortable, as long as the temperature is right, I’m comfortable.

One of the key pieces of how I get women off is that I’ll use my left hand inside the vagina with two fingers stimulating the G spot. But, that can be a really awkward movement if you don’t have it all right. It’s really hard to describe it on a podcast, I’ve been thinking about this all day. I sort of like to tuck my arm underneath my stomach. You guys can see what I’m doing. I tuck it underneath and then I just lay flat with my right hand over the mons.

And so I’m just in a comfortable position where I can do that for 30-40 minutes. No problem.

Shameless Sex: So, your partner, the pussy that you’re eating, are they on their side and then you’re essentially on yours?

Shameless Sex: I am picturing it like he’s like this and they’re on their back?

Shaun Galanos: They’re on their back. They’ve got their head in one corner of the mattress at the head of the bed, and then I’m halfway, wherever their pussy ends up being. And then my legs are sort of on the other diagonal of the bed. So we’re just making one long line.

Shameless Sex: Okay, so you’re on your belly?

Shaun Galanos: Yeah, I’m on my belly.

Shameless Sex: His arm is just like propped on his stomach like this?

Shaun Galanos: Yeah, my arm is underneath. I’m like squashing it sort of just I don’t know, if I was like really uncomfortable and I would hold my arms close to my body.

That’s where that left hand is, and it’s really important, just for the mechanics.

Shameless Sex:  It’s leverage.

Shaun Galanos:  Leverage and comfort, long-term comfort, because I don’t want to get a sore wrist. Or a sore bicep or anything. I just make sure that I’m well set up for it. I mean, this seems sort of obvious but it’s really not, I think people give up because it’s uncomfortable and it doesn’t have to be uncomfortable.

That’s number two.

Shameless Sex: Thank you, number two. What about number three?

Shaun Galanos: Number three is— pay attention, which is basically that your partner is giving you all the information you need to know regarding how you’re doing. So breath, body, hips rotating. Is she flushing? Is she sweating? Is she moaning? Is she grabbing my head? Is she getting more wet? Is her clitoris getting more swollen?

This is a lot of information that’s coming non-verbally that’s actually very physiological. “Is what I’m doing working?” If you’re not paying attention, you’ll miss a lot of these signs. The flushing is very subtle. The sweating could just be like a little bit of sheen on the breasts.

That’s all very subtle. The hips rotating can be all very subtle, and the breath as well. When you’re laying there and you’re eating pussy, you have a really great view of what’s happening with your partner’s body.

And so pay attention, it’s really important to pay attention because when you do something different, whether it’s increasing the tempo, or the pressure, or the direction, or adding some stimulation like playing with nipples or inserting fingers into the vagina, it’s important to notice if what you’ve just done has made a positive effect on her arousal.

If it hasn’t, then I can either back down or it could be an opportunity to talk about. “Did you like that? Did you not like that? Do you want anything different?”

I just feel that we’re not paying attention enough and that a lot of the information is available to us if we just tune into the partner and just stay present with what you’re doing, which is a beautiful act, giving pleasure to your partner is pretty hot. Let’s stay present and pay attention.

Shameless Sex: It’s also great for the receiver to communicate on whatever level. Like, “That feels great. Yes. Yes. Yes.”

Because I know that from experience— I was a poor communicator and there were times where there were things done that I wasn’t into and I would just kind of stop and just get in my head going, “How long is this going to last?” And then I’d be like, “Damn it.”

And now I just try to communicate, but I love the squeezing of the head with my legs when they’re in between. I love that.

Shameless Sex: That means, “I like what you’re doing”?

Shameless Sex: Yes, but I just think it’s also fun.

Shaun Galanos: I had a partner who used to tap on the back of my head, and she would tap faster and faster and faster and than that was sort of a sign to go faster and faster and faster. It was really cool, she didn’t actually know she was doing it. It was totally subconscious.

And yeah, if your partner is yelling, “Please don’t stop please don’t stop,” that’s a great sign that you’re doing something good, well and to not stop, under any circumstances should you not stop.

Shameless Sex: Yeah, pay attention unless your neck is going to break in half, but if you can, keep going.

Shaun Galanos: Yeah, there are some extenuating circumstances. We all know what those are.

Shameless Sex: And then, also if something is feeling good, I feel like there’s never too much emphasis. You can never overemphasize how good something is as long as it’s authentic.

So if something’s feeling good, tell your partner that it’s feeling good because that means you’re going to get more of that thing. And if it’s not feeling good, then of course, do that too. But yeah, anything that’s complementing someone, they love hearing it and they’re more likely to know what to do.

Shaun Galanos: That is a segue into step number four, which is use your words.

Our ability to communicate is actually our biggest sexual organ. Speech can be incredibly arousing, and like you said, hearing feedback, I love feedback, the reality is that I am not a mind reader.

Nobody’s a mind reader, and we didn’t get the manual on the stuff and we’re, for the most part, expected to know a lot of stuff.

We’re supposed to to be proficient at things, and the reality is, if I start playing tennis, I’m going to be really bad at playing tennis.  At the very get-go, until I have a coach to tell me, “Actually do this, do that.” So, use your words.

And that goes for both, the giver and the receiver. I’ve gotten good at identifying nonverbal signs and once you know your partner, you’ll get better at that also, but it’s not a substitute for just using communication.

Asking, “Does this feel good? Would you like more pressure/ less pressure, do you prefer, would you like? Is there anything that I can do for you?”

It’s kind of awkward at first to start asking those questions if you’re not used to it, but eventually it’s like anything, it’s like saying pussy 100 times. It’s just not a big deal after a while, especially if they know that you’re doing it to help. Experts don’t guess.

Shameless Sex: Yeah, I like that. Unless yeah, someone’s psychic. If they are psychic, send them our way, we have some questions

Okay. What about step five? The finale?

Shaun Galanos: Step five is don’t quit before the miracle happens.

Shameless Sex: Wow. Don’t throw in the towel, yo.

Shaun Galanos: Don’t throw in the towel. Yeah, sometimes that orgasm is right around the corner.

It’s really important also to know that you’re not rushing your partner and that your partner has all the time in the in the world to achieve orgasm if they want to achieve orgasm.

I mean, the thing is, people in general have a really hard time receiving.

It’s really challenging to receive for any length of time without wanting to do something else, so step five is telling the giver don’t quit but it’s also telling the partner that it’s okay for you to take your time.

I mean, I know that if I’m receiving a blow job after 10 minutes, I already start worrying about, “I should be giving you pleasure now,” we’re just not really taught to let go and receive.

Whenever my partner said, “Don’t stop”, whatever I do, I do not stop. Even if I got a tongue cramp, I’m just going to go the distance and I’m not going to stop eating pussy until she literally pulls my face off of her pussy or she says, “You can stop now,” or “Please fuck me.” That’s another good one.

Shameless Sex: I like that one.

How do you feel about 69? I’m a huge fan of 69 because I could see what’s happening with your cock and how it’s responding and it gets me more excited.

But how do you feel about it?

Shaun Galanos: Can you come from 69?

Shameless Sex: Yeah, I have before actually. Because my focus is- I don’t know, I have a thing about what I’m doing to the other person and how responsive they are.

Shameless Sex: So you’re getting off to seeing what you’re doing to them while they’re touching you?

Shameless Sex: Yes, I am feeling like the tremor of the vein feeling like they’re going to come and I’m like, “Yes, it’s working.” It turns me on even more, but maybe I’m just a special snowflake.  

Shameless Sex: I have never had an orgasm from 69. It’s very distracting. I’m trying to focus on them, I can’t focus on myself. I’m like focusing 10% on what they’re doing to me and 90% on them and it’s just impossible.

What about you Shaun Galanos?

Shaun Galanos: I like it for fun as a transition position from one to another, or if we both need a break from penetration or something, but I don’t think that I’ve ever given somebody an orgasm in 69. I find it very distracting.

Also, generally the women I sleep with are shorter than me, and so there’s a weird angle thing going on where I can’t get the right angle and she can’t get the right angle. It just doesn’t work that well for me.

Shameless Sex: Definitely. Are you super tall?

Shaun Galanos: No, I’m only 6’. But even if the woman’s 5’6’’ there’s six inches there where it just doesn’t match up,

Giving people the permission to receive is incredibly powerful and just to normalize the fact that it’s actually really hard to do, that’s really hard to do.

Shameless Sex: It is. I’m not a good receiver.

Do you have any good— I don’t want to call them lines, but things that you say to pussy owners to help them relax or receive? To help them drop in their bodies and be like, “Okay, I can just surrender here”? Or techniques?

Shaun Galanos: I’ve done some erotic massage in the past and I just tell the people that I’m giving a massage to,

“This time is for you. We have a certain amount of time. This time is for you. If you need to touch me for whatever reason because it grounds you or because you really want to, go ahead, but the focus is on you, and I just want you to know that.”

Often that’s enough. Just giving somebody the permission to just receive and that there are no expectations for you to give me pleasure while I’m giving you pleasure, I think is incredibly powerful.

Shameless Sex: I love that.

Shameless Sex: I do too. Although, I would probably be thinking  “Well, how long is appropriate for me to receive?” That’s a thing I need to get over.

Shaun Galanos: I mean, you could talk about that. You could say, “For the next 30 minutes, this is all about you.”

Shameless Sex: Okay, then just have a timer ding.

We’ve talked about the timer dinging which helps because I would know what 30 minutes is. I get lost in the abyss of pleasure.

Shameless Sex: I think more of the heady folks are going to need a timer and the non-heady folks might not need a timer.   

Shaun Galanos: More than a timer like, a little clock, like a little massage therapist clock, where you can look every now and then be like, I got another 15 minutes of just relaxing, because I think with the timer you might be like, “Is it 30? It feels like 30? It’s been only been 28.”

Shameless Sex: I’m like that with massage though. I’m like, “How long is this massage?” I’ve been meditating every day and trying to be in the moment. I’m getting better. But I’m saying if it were like that, I’d be in my head about, “When can I be the giver?”  

It’s just time for me to  switch roles a little bit, tap into my receiving end.

Shaun Galanos: We all have one of those.

Shameless Sex: I have a couple of receiving orifices. One of my other favorite lines for pussy-eating, or even for sucking cock, is to say, “I could do this all day,” and just that in itself is kind of the same message of, “There’s no rush here, I’m really enjoying this and I could do it forever.” And of course, I really can’t do it forever but I’m just letting you know that I’m that into it.

Shaun Galanos: Turns out if you told me that I would probably orgasm in about a minute. So you wouldn’t actually be doing it forever. Only for another minute.

Shameless Sex: She’s like, “It worked! That’s my plan”.

“That’s what I really meant. By saying this, I’m going to make them come faster” because you were able to relax you’re like, “Oh that was hot. They’re so into it. Oh yeah.”

Did you have any burning questions you wanted to ask us?

Shaun Galanos: Now that I’m talking to two women right now, I’m wondering if there’s anything else that you wish people knew about eating pussy or your pussy?

Shameless Sex: I would say my one thing that I would share is that for those folks that are the givers out there, that want to be eating the pussy, or are eating the pussy, lubrication is no indication of how turned on the person is.

I will speak from my own personal experience.

Sometimes I’m on an antihistamine, I think that’s what it is, or I drank too much alcohol, or there’s so many different things and it dehydrates me. I didn’t drink enough water in general, but I’m still super turned-on. I’m enjoying the pussy-eating. Just use some saliva as lubrication because that’s one thing that I feel like is a commonality.

Because it’s happened to me before, I’ve eaten pussy and there was no lubrication, I’m like, “It doesn’t indicate that they’re not turned on it just probably means that at this moment they’re not getting lubricated”.

So that would be my share. Keep at it and keep going and it will probably happen. But, just use saliva because that membrane does need some slickness to make it more pleasurable.

Shameless Sex: I would say for me, touching my pussy is pretty much the same as touching the lower back. Meaning it can be really ticklish if it’s touched in a way where there isn’t a lot of warm up or there isn’t enough pressure. I’ll kind of flinch or squirm a little bit.

So that warm-up piece is really important and when it comes to using things— the tongue, just having the tongue touching those spots, it’s almost like a creepy poke finger.

My body responds well to flat surfaces. The flat of the palm of hand, or the flats of the fingers, or the flats of the tongue, or actually the pressure of the lips pressing into my pussy. So little pokey things can have the tendency to tickle me.

I can’t speak for everyone. I would say that’s kind of again like asking people what feels good, what doesn’t feel good. Some people I’m sure will like that and some people like myself will actually feel more like you’re trying to tickle me.

Shaun Galanos: Do you respond better to the flat of a tongue versus the tip of the tongue?

Shameless Sex: Yeah, the flat. In fact, I actually like more lips than tongue. I definitely like tongue, but I like my tongue combined with lips too.

Shaun Galanos: You just mentioned sucking, that’s not really something that I do a lot of. It’s not in my repertoire, but I’m wondering if it should be.

Shameless Sex: I like sucking. A light sucking. Not the nibbling, the sucking. I personally think it’s fantastic to add it in to the repertoire, surprisingly not  just all sucking but the licking and the sucking.

Shameless Sex: I think if there’s too much sucking on my clit then my clit would be over stimulated and go kind of numb too. It’s like the fine balance. Just mix it up. Add a gentle suck from time to time.

Shameless Sex: I remember going to a “How to Eat a Pussy” class and he was just like “Bury your whole face in there” like you should essentially only see your eyes popping up. Even your nose is in there doing things. You’re just deep in there and you essentially have pussy juices all over your face, as opposed to neat and pretty like “I’m going to keep my face really far and just touch you with my tongue but not get it all over my cheeks.”

I wonder what you think about that Shaun Galanos?

Shaun Galanos: Somewhere in the middle could work. I’m not going to shame anybody for burying their whole face in the vulva or for doing just the tip of the tongue. I think for me, it’s like a happy medium. I’m definitely getting it all over my cheeks.

I’m not often burying my nose inside the opening of your vagina, although if I’m going to be eating your ass, then that might happen.

But often I do that with the woman on her stomach because you have better access, it’s kind of awkward to go underneath there. But I mean, whatever it takes. Whatever gets the job done I guess is what I’m willing to do, but I’ve just never found that I’ve had to dive in all the way. It’s not in my hair. It’s never in my hair.

Shameless Sex: Rimming is so hot by the way.

Shameless Sex: Yeah, it’s the gateway to my heart.

Shaun Galanos: That is something that I will do on the first hook-up.

Shameless Sex: Do you shy away from it when you get to know them or what?

Shaun Galanos: Yeah, then I’m like, “That’s gross. I don’t want to do that, I’m not into it”.

I love it. I love it all the time.

Shameless Sex: You love rimming all the time?

Shaun Galanos: I love rimming all the time.

Shameless Sex: So on the first date you offer some rimming? Oh, yeah. I bet that closes a lots of deals.

Shaun Galanos: I’ll offer the rimming before the eating pussy as part of the warm-up technique. Often that just drives them crazy. It also sends a message that I am not scared of anything.

Shameless Sex: The juices are flowing.

Shameless Sex: I absolutely adored this podcast and everything that you shared with us. You’re a joy and you’re a joy to watch too, on video, we’re watching you the whole time and you have a beautiful smile and your hair is on point.

Shaun Galanos: It’s pointy. It was a blast to be on here. Thank you so much.

I haven’t talked about eating pussy for this amount of time ever, and I’m super grateful to be able to. Do you have a parting thought for my listeners?

Shameless Sex: Oh, I think you already covered some of them. I mean one of the things that we always say is to go slower than slow and then slower than that.

Literally, whatever you think you’re doing that is slow, go slower than whatever that is and see what happens, because you’ll probably discover something magical.

Shaun Galanos: Amazing.

Shameless Sex: Yes.

The How to be Great at Eating Pussy Blog Post

A lot of guys are terrible at eating pussy. How do I know? Women tell me, often. After going down on them, they say, “Wow. OK. Most men have no idea what they’re doing. That was refreshing”.Not all the time of course. But often enough to know it’s a problem. Why are men so bad at it? Either because they don’t like doing it, or they have no idea what they’re doing.

Don’t despair gentlemen (and women who want to get better at eating pussy) read on to upgrade your pussy eating skills in five simple ways. 

Not Gonna Lie, I Love Eating Pussy

I do. I’ve eaten a lot of pussy over the years.It sounds vulgar when you put it that way, but it is what it is. Why pretend like I don’t love going down on women? If you’ve been sexually active for 20 years, there’s a good chance you’ve either eaten a lot of pussy or sucked a lot of dick.Hopefully, you’re good at it by now. Some of you are, more of you aren’t. I can count on one hand the times when I haven’t gone down on my partner before having intercourse with her. That’s great for my lovers because women love oral sex. They do. They go nuts for great oral sex. But bad oral sex? No one likes bad oral sex.

Life Is Too Short For Bad Pizza (And Bad Sex)

Someone once said that sex is like pizza. Even bad pizza is good and the same goes for sex. I couldn’t disagree more. Ain’t nobody got time for bad pizza or bad sex. That includes bad oral sex. At best it’s just meh, and at worst it can hurt and completely ruin the moment. No thanks. That’s a hard pass for me. 

When Is Comes To Orgasms And Doors, Ladies First

Eating pussy is the most efficient way I’ve found to make a woman orgasm.It’s pretty much a universal truth. Look it up. Women reach orgasm quicker and more often from oral sex than from penetrative sex. Most women can’t orgasm from penetration alone. There has to be some clitoral stimulation either before or during penetration for an orgasm to happen. I like it when my partners’ orgasm. I try to make sure they orgasm before I orgasm. When men ejaculate, their desire to continue having sex decreases significantly. The same applies to me, so if my partner wants to orgasm, you know I’ll be eating her pussy first. I digress. Keep in mind; this isn’t a step by step guide. That’s coming soon, and you’re not going to want to miss it.

In the meantime, enjoy these five steps to making you better at eating pussy.

5 Easy Ways To Be Great At Eating Pussy

1. Take Your Time Eating Pussy

Go slow, in everything you do. That means foreplay and lots of it. I love foreplay. It turns me on and cranks my partner’s arousal up significantly. It’s a win-win because women rarely get enough foreplay. Men tend just to stick it in and forget all about the foreplay. I’m not saying there isn’t a time and a place for a quickie, but those moments are few and far between.

Take time exploring your partner’s body. Explore everything. Her back, her thighs, the back of her knees, the nape of her neck. Every single body part. Try to lick and kiss every part of her body. Except for her pussy. Try to stay away from the pussy as much as possible. You can graze her outer lips or brush up against her bush, but under no circumstance are you to touch her pussy for at least 20 minutes. It’s a great way to get her riled up and to remind you to concentrate on other parts of her body.

Her pussy isn’t the only erogenous zone. Find five areas that drive your partner wild, and remember them for next time.

I added the circles using photoshop to show you some hot spots!

The slower you go, the crazier she’ll get.

Once she’s writhing and thrusting her pussy at you, that’s a great indicator that she’s dying for you to lick her. 

2. Get Comfortable Eating Pussy

Women take longer to reach a peak state of arousal than men do. If you care about your partner’s pleasure, and you know that most women can’t reach orgasm through penetration alone (no matter how awesome you think your dick is) that means settling in for more than five minutes of eating pussy. Set yourself up for success and get cozy as fuck. 

A tennis court probably isn’t the most comfortable place for a long pussy eating session, but what the hell, knock yourself out. Plenty of room to stretch out. 

You don’t want to be scrunched up on all fours, or halfway falling off the bed. Ask your partner to scoot up on the bed and to orient herself on a diagonal so that you can cozy up between her legs without falling off the bed. The more comfortable you are, the better off you’ll be.

3. Pay Attention

Not sure how to tell if what you’re doing is working? Curious if your partner is getting turned on? Wondering if they’re getting close to orgasm?Pay attention to your partner because she’s most likely giving you all the information you need to know.Pay close attention to how she moves her body. Is she subtly rotating her hips with your timing? Is she thrusting into your mouth to meet your tongue? Is her skin getting flushed? Is she moaning? Is her clitoris getting swollen? Is she getting wet? Can you see moisture dripping from her pussy?

If she’s this wet, you’re doing something right. 

Is she grabbing your head and holding it to her pussy and yelling “DON’T STOP.” Great work. Keep it up, and you just might make your partner an incredibly happy woman. Whenever you do something different, whether it’s increasing the tempo, pressure, direction, or adding some stimulation (playing with her nipples, inserting fingers into her vagina, putting pressure on her mons pubis) it’s important to notice whether this change has a positive effect on her arousal. Did she pull away slightly when you increased the pressure of your tongue on her clitoris?Did she stop moaning when you changed from putting constant pressure on her g-spot to sliding your fingers in and out?Did she say “don’t do that” when you tried to slide your finger in her anus without asking her permission? These are all possible signs (except that last one, that’s a definite sign) that whatever you’re doing doesn’t feel great. Pay attention. Look at her face. Look at her chest. Pay attention to her breathing. Listen to her moaning. Notice how she moves her body. Is she clutching the sheets? She’s giving you almost all the information you need. You just have to look for the signs.

4. Use Your Words

I’m not a mind reader. And nor are you. While I’ve gotten better at identifying the nonverbal signs, nothing beats talking to your partner while going down on them to know if what you’re doing is working. I’ve developed some techniques that I routinely employ to bring pleasure to my partners, but everyone is different. What might feel fantastic to one woman might not to another. Being able to talk about sex is a huge turn on. Plus it’ll get you the information you need to help your partner achieve orgasm. “Does this feel good?”“Do you prefer constant pressure on your G Spot, or do you like the in and out motion?”“Do you like a circular motion on your clitoris or more of an up and down motion?”

“Should I use the flat part of my tongue or the tip of my tongue? Here, let me try both and tell me which you prefer”. Women are turned on by men who can effectively talk about sex while having sex. The best way to find out if what you’re doing is working is to ask. Experts don’t guess.

5. Don’t Quit Before The Miracle Happens

Women take longer to reach a state of arousal and to reach orgasm. When you’re eating pussy, settle in. Get comfortable, have fun, take it slow, and don’t stop until your partner asks you to stop. Often the miracle orgasm is right around the corner, and if you don’t rush it, you’ll have a much better chance of helping your partner reach orgasm. And for God’s sake, when your partner yells “don’t stop” whatever you do, don’t stop. Don’t change a thing. If your tongue gets sore and your neck starts to crick, suck it up and keep going. In fact, don’t stop eating her pussy until she physically pulls your face off her pussy, or says “you can stop now” or “I’d like you to fuck me now please.” Until one of those two things happen, don’t stop.

Remember The Big Gun

I’ve learned a lot about how to please women over the years, especially with my hands and my mouth. But I still always fall back on using the most effective tool of all, my words.

That, and my ability to listen to exactly what my partner wants, and how I can help. The best way to eat pussy is slowly, with no agenda other than to bring pleasure to your partner. If your partner is capable of having a clitoral orgasm through oral sex (not all women can) and your skills are on point, you’ll make her day (and maybe her week depending on how many useless pussy eaters have come before you). And until I write The Guide To Giving Great Oral Sex, this book is a GREAT resource loaded with tons of great techniques on how to make women come. It’s $12 and highly worth it. Buy it here.