Dating with low self-esteem
November 5, 2026 · The Love Drive with Shaun Galanos
Three questions this week:
How do you get out there and date when you feel like shit about yourself? How do you get over rejection fatigue? And: I can’t ever orgasm with a man, I think I’m in my head too much.
I recorded this tired, a little sick, and not feeling great, which turned out to be the right state to answer them from.
In here: why “work on yourself first, then date” is backward, and the name for why (sociometer theory, which says self-esteem is a gauge rather than a tank you fill). Why rejection genuinely hurts, physically, and why resting might just be what the (love) doctor ordered. Why I refuse to return a shopping cart at Lowe’s. And spectatoring, which Masters and Johnson named in the sixties and which might be the most useful word in this episode if you’ve ever caught yourself watching yourself have sex instead of having sex.
One ask this week: send me your questions. This whole episode is made of them, so without you there’s no episode.
thelovedrive.com/ask, [email protected], or leave me a voicemail at 415-494-9559. Voicemails are my favourite.
Connect with me:
Read my blog: https://shaungalanos.substack.com
The Love Drive Podcast: https://shaungalanos.com/podcast/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thelovedrive/
More About Shaun: https://shaungalanos.com/about/
Buy me a coffee: https://buymeacoffee.com/thelovedrive
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