April 21, 2017

When Will I Stop Being Sad About My Ex?

Dear Love Drive, 

When do you know you're over your ex? It's been months now and I still can't stop thinking about him. I want to move on, I'm tired of feeling this way. 

More...

Too Sad, 28 W​

Hi Too Sad,

Ouch. It sounds like you desperately want to get over your ex, but you're still quite not ready yet. That's a tough place to be.

The good news is that it will pass, and we've all be there. You're not alone.

A few years ago, I dated a woman for 6 months. It was intense from the get go, we burned hard and we burned fast. 

We also burned out quickly and she broke up with me over cheap Indian food. I was devastated. That it was done over cheap Indian food just added insult to injury.

For months I thought we'd get back together. I was completely delusional. I can see it now but I couldn't see it then. I call her my crazy ex, but I was the crazy one. 

That's neither here nor there. The reality is that it took almost a year for me to get over her, and we'd only dated for 6 months. 

But I finally started to get over here, and here were some of the signs:

  • I stopped having anxiety dreams about her
  • I stopped stalking her social media
  • I could picture running into her with her new boyfriend and not being sad about it
  • I started noticing other women and going on dates
  • I stopped comparing other woman to her

It Takes The Time It Takes

There's no secret formula to how long it takes for people it get over breakups. Sometimes it's a few weeks and other times it's a few years. 

While you never know how long it'll take, you can help your chances. Significantly.

Speed up the healing process by doing this:

  • Accept the fact that it's over
  • No contact with your ex for 6 months
  • Spend time with friends and loved ones
  • Take extra good care of #1 (that's you)
  • Stay busy and productive
  • Be sad when you feel like being sad
  • Know that what you're feeling is temporary

Oh right, I also made this video for you this week. It's for everyone who's going through a breakup right now. I hope you like it. 

Did you like this post? If so, do me a favor and add a comment below. Tell us what you do to help you get over a breakup. 

Share It If You're Bold Enough

Shaun Galanos

Shaun Galanos is The Love Drive. He lives, writes, and makes videos in Montreal.