Dear Love Drive,
When do you know you're over your ex? It's been months now and I still can't stop thinking about him. I want to move on, I'm tired of feeling this way.
Too Sad, 28 W
Hi Too Sad,
Ouch. It sounds like you desperately want to get over your ex, but you're still quite not ready yet. That's a tough place to be.
The good news is that it will pass, and we've all be there. You're not alone.
A few years ago, I dated a woman for 6 months. It was intense from the get go, we burned hard and we burned fast.
We also burned out quickly and she broke up with me over cheap Indian food. I was devastated. That it was done over cheap Indian food just added insult to injury.
For months I thought we'd get back together. I was completely delusional. I can see it now but I couldn't see it then. I call her my crazy ex, but I was the crazy one.
That's neither here nor there. The reality is that it took almost a year for me to get over her, and we'd only dated for 6 months.
But I finally started to get over here, and here were some of the signs:
- I stopped having anxiety dreams about her
- I stopped stalking her social media
- I could picture running into her with her new boyfriend and not being sad about it
- I started noticing other women and going on dates
- I stopped comparing other woman to her
It Takes The Time It Takes
There's no secret formula to how long it takes for people it get over breakups. Sometimes it's a few weeks and other times it's a few years.
While you never know how long it'll take, you can help your chances. Significantly.
Speed up the healing process by doing this:
- Accept the fact that it's over
- No contact with your ex for 6 months
- Spend time with friends and loved ones
- Take extra good care of #1 (that's you)
- Stay busy and productive
- Be sad when you feel like being sad
- Know that what you're feeling is temporary
Oh right, I also made this video for you this week. It's for everyone who's going through a breakup right now. I hope you like it.