Sometimes you go on a date with a woman and right off the bat you know there's no chemistry. But she's attractive, the conversation is easy, and you start to think that having sex with this woman would be pretty damn awesome.
If only there was a way of clearly communicating your desires without leading her on, and increasing your chances of getting laid.
It's completely possible to be honest about sex without coming off looking like a player. Here's how....
Ever been on a date and known from the get go that there wasn’t any chemistry? She's attractive, fun, smart, and even then, there's a little something missing?
A je ne sais quoi, if you will.
Bummer. Because we all want hot, fun, chemistry-filled dates. Unfortunately those are the exception, not the norm.
And it's a bummer because you haven’t had sex in awhile, it’s spring time, and I’d be damn nice share some fun-filled naked time with a beautiful woman.
I completely understand.
But it's fun and you're getting along
And she’s pretty, the conversation is smooth, there’s no awkward silence -- just a fun evening with a nice woman.
You still have the feeling that you probably won't be going on another date with her. This date feels a bit too much like roommates going out for drinks. Or catching up with an old friend.
There's a lack of spark, and that's OK. You can't spark with everyone.
You got the hots for each other though
You find her attractive and she finds you attractive. That much is clear.
You’ve found yourselves in the ven diagram of people who find each other mutually attractive, and that's doesn't happen that often. Might want to take advantage of it.
Why it's amazing people get together in the first place
On one side are all the people you find attractive. On the other are all the people who find you attractive, and in the middle, almost no one.
So while you don’t see yourself dating this person, you can't help but think that I'd be really nice to take their clothes off. And you're wondering if they may very well be thinking the same thing.
Just because there's no chemistry, doesn't mean you can't have a little bit of fun right?
Just two(or more) adults having fun
Casual sex is fun, and it's even more fun when it's casual for both parties.
It's not fair or kind to lead anyone on because you want sex when you know the other partner might be wanting more than sex.
A partner once told me she couldn't have sex with me anymore because,
"my heart and my vagina are connected. It's too painful to have sex with you since I want more than sex with you.
So we stopped being lover because we had different desires. But we only found out those desires because we kept talking about our feelings and our needs with each other.
But how do you effectively communicate your feelings and needs with someone you barely know?
How do you tell someone that you're not interested in dating them but that you'd love to have sex with them?
Being honest about sex without playing games or sounding like an asshole
I have a friend who lives a radically honest lifestyle.
He's a polyamorous yoga teacher who seems to live on a diet of grass-fed organic blueberries and young female yogis. The combination is enough to make anyone a little bit sick.
But I couldn't pretend that I wasn't jealous of how easygoing he made everything look, including his radical honesty about sex with multiple women (sometimes at the same time).
So I asked him, "how do you tell someone you want to have sex with them but aren't interested in dating them?"
He laughed, and gave me the secret. I've used it non-stop ever since and works. it's brilliant in it's effectiveness and it's simplicity.
Being open and honest about sex is a turn on.
Most women aren’t used to hearing men being so honest about sex so when they do, it often turns them on. Turning women on will absolutely increase your chances of having sex. I guarantee it.
It gives them information
When a woman knows what your intentions are, she can make an informed decision about what to do next. If you tell her you're only interested in sex, then she can decide whether or not she wants a casual relationship with you.
Either way, you're starting off the relationship with %100 honesty and being direct about your intentions. That's a rare trait these days. You'll stand out.
I don't play games because I don't the rules.
That's why I often go for the straightforward honest approach. I don't have to remember any tips or special strategy. I just have to remember to be honest, and kind, and playful.
The rest sorts itself out, usually in my favor.
So what do I say?
At some point during your date, say this...
"I'm enjoying getting to know you and I don’t feel strong chemistry with you. That being said, I'm having fun and I'm really attracted to you. I’d love to explore a more physical connection if you’re up for it."
And then wait. Wait for her to process and react. She'll go through the pros and cons and make up her mind about what she wants to do.
You might get a no, but then again, you might get a yes.
But for sure you'll get nothing if you don't risk it and put yourself out there.
Women love sex too
They do, it's true. They told me.
Everyone wants sex, and we should all be having as much of it as possible.
The best way to do that is to start being honest about sex and to start asking for what we want.
Sex can be awkward but talking about it doesn't have to be.
Did You Like This Post?
Come follow me on Instagram. Click the button below, then "Follow"