Stop trying to control attraction and chemistry on a first date. Even legit chemists agree they have no idea what women want or why they like what they like.
While you can't control chemistry, you can certainly control your behavior.
Here's some basic as fuck first date (and more) etiquette that will give you the best chances of keeping her interested in you and double your odds of getting a second date...
That women still choose to go out with men. I don't blame them. I've fucked up enough first dates to be blown away when a woman agrees to go out with me. If she only knew.
But that was a younger me and I've learned a lot since then. I've also been on a lot of first dates.
I don't make as many mistakes as I used to, even though I still fuck up a first date every now and then.
Usually it's when I haven't found just the right way to be honest about something and it comes out sounding a little too honest.
There's a fine line between being honest and sounding like an asshole. And usually when you sound like an asshole, you end up looking like one too. First date over and you can kiss the second one goodbye.
We've forgotten how to be nice
I blame the internet and online dating.
We've lost touch with reality. We're forgetting how to talk to people. We hide behind our screens because it's easier to chat with someone over text than it is to get to know someone in person.
I get it though, I still get nervous when I meet new people. But I have a trick. I pretend I'm a reporter and I try to find out three interesting things about them. It's about them, not about me. It takes the pressure off.
I wrote this basic first date etiquette guide to help you easily navigate some of the pitfalls that could make the difference between her ghosting you and you going on a second date.
How To Pass The First Date Challenge
1. Phone stays in pocket
For the entire date. Not even to check the time, or to show her a cat video. The coolest thing happening in your life is that a woman has agreed to spend time with you.
Your texts and notifications can wait.
2. Eyes up here mister
You'll need every ounce of willpower to keep your eyes from drifting away from her face . It's worth doing. You'll look like a badass and there's nothing sexier than a man who has control over his urges.
This goes for checking out other people on your date too.
3. Listen more, talk less
You should be listening twice as much as you're talking. Easiest way to do this is to ask questions. Pretend to be a reporter. Start off by trying to find out three really interesting facts about them.
Don't worry, if she's cool she'll be trying to do the same thing. It'll be awesome.
4. Offer to pay
If I asked someone on a date, I offer to pay. Often times we end up splitting it, but it's nice to be able to offer to pay. The first date should be low key. Picnic, drink, coffee, cheap live show.
Everyone is different and some people will refuse to let you pay for them. That's cool.
5. End it on a high note
I don't know the rules of the game so I refuse to play. If I had a nice time, I tell her. No games. I keep it short, and sweet, but I tell her I had a nice time.
"I had a really nice time with you. I'd love to see you again."
Life is too short for games
A first date isn't an opportunity to play games. It's an opportunity to start getting to know someone and to see if there's chemistry there.
First dates should be low key and low stress.
If there's chemistry (and for your sake I hope there is), and you followed the steps above, you're going to increase your odds of getting a second date.
Remember, connection is the goal. And the easiest way to connect with someone is to be playful, honest, and authentic.
Be yourself, be kind, and most important, have fun.