Category Archives for "Dating"

7 months ago

Get What You Want By Acting Like It


I wanted a girlfriend, so I acted like I wanted one, and it worked. The intention was set.

I met my last girlfriend on OKCupid. We’re not dating anymore but I still love her. I love most of my exes. Somehow I’m able to stay friends with them. No contact for 6 months probably has something to do with it.

I’d been single for about a year at this point and was starting to feel ready for a relationship. Winter was coming, I’d need someone to cuddle with on those cold San Francisco nights.

I set my intention that I was looking for partnership. I ‘put it out to the universe’ or whatever that meant. Continue reading

7 months ago

Charm School Friday: How to save a dead conversation

How to keep the conversation going after the traditional throwaway greeting of “How are you?”

How are you? How ya doing? How’s it going? Howzit?

This is the standard greeting in North America:

Hi, how are you?

But no one expects you to answer truthfully, that would be awkward.

Well. Not great. My just wife left me for my best friend, my 16 year old daughter is fucking my drug dealer, and I have a growth on my left testical.

Instead we’re all either doing ‘great’, ‘good’, ‘fine’, ‘well’, or maybe ‘tired’.

And you?

I’m good.

And scene. Conversation over.Continue reading

7 months ago

One Question Guaranteed To Get Her Smiling

“Excuse me, I have one question for you”

The goal of Charm School Friday is to help you become more charming and flirty. I’ll decode flirty and charming things people do and say, and present it to you in easy to follow actionable steps. Or at least I’ll try.

These aren’t tips and tricks on how to hit on people

These are steps you can take to become more charming in your day to day life. That’s all.

We’re simply looking to make a connection with someone. If those connections result in a date, great. If they don’t, awesome. We weren’t expecting a date so we’re not disappointed. Remember what I said about expectations right? Don’t have any.

Before we get started – read the guidelines of Charm School Friday and the 1st assignment.Continue reading

7 months ago

Ending a dead end date without being mean


I don’t want to be here but I don’t know how to tell you

I’m on a date and I’d rather be at home with Roger dog. There’s no chemistry. There should be; we spent all week texting.

We met online (back when I was still dating online), exchanged a few messages, and then switched to text. I should have called her to see if we had phone chemistry but, no one answers their phone anymore.

People think talking on the phone is weird. Whatever, I like calling people. Maybe I’m weird. I should have called her. But even having phone chemistry is no guarantee of actual chemistry.Continue reading

7 months ago

Charm School Friday: Introduction, ground rules, and assignment #1

CHärm ˌsko͞ol ˈfrīdā/


  1. a school offering tuition in social graces such as etiquette Tips on being charming usually for women for everyone, delivered on Fridays. 

Charm School Friday is a bit like Fight Club. Instead of beating each other to a pulp in a dirty basement, we’re gonna learn to charm the pants off everyone* we meet.

It’s actually quite bit different than fight club.Continue reading

8 months ago

Is your new relationship the ‘real deal’? Does it pass the baseline test?

baseline test

I’ve fallen in love a few times in my life

More if you count high school. I don’t. Puppy love. I didn’t know what I was doing back then. I still don’t but I’m OK with it now. Everything’s going to be alright. I’m at peace with not knowing. It’s freeing not to know.

My relationships all ended for good reasons. Don’t most relationships end for good reasons? I’ll have to think about that one.Continue reading

8 months ago

A Pro/Con List: Asking for the date or asking for the digits.

asking for the date

“Can I get your phone number?”

This is how it’s done. Get the phone number so you can start texting. Eventually you’ll ask ‘em to hang out. Boom. Circuitous way to safely ask someone out without any risk of rejection.

It’s OK and it’s certainly better than nothing. It’ll get the job done, but it’s lazy. We both know it.

Getting someones phone number or asking someone to hang out does imply interest, but it’s not explicit. It lacks oomph.Continue reading

8 months ago

Not adding your new crush on Facebook will boost her interest

new crush

Don’t add your new crush to Facebook

I get it. I’ve been there and still resist the urge. It’s easy. It’s so tempting to add that new crush to all your social networks. Then you can really get all up in that business.

First you check the profile photos. Then you find the Cancun 2012 album. Next thing you know you’re deep into her Bali Yoga Teacher Training album and you accidentally like a photo from 2009. Fuck. Unlike!Continue reading