Category Archives for "Dating"

a couple of days ago

How To Find Out If Your New Crush Is Over It

OVER IT?

​Is she over it? Everything seemed to be going your way. You were having fun and the sex was good. Then all of a sudden, she cancels without rescheduling, takes longer to respond, and seems busier than usual. 

It can be hard to read a new crush. Is she really busy or slowly ghosting you?

How do you find out if your new crush is over it or still interested without looking needy and desperate?

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a couple of weeks ago

How To Ask Someone Out When You’re In A Hurry

In A Hurry

Life is hectic. Between work, trying to stay active, running errands and maintaining a social life, it's a miracle if we squeeze a bit of time in to meet new people.

Every now and then though, we meet someone in the daily rush of life with whom we really connect. Too bad we're probably late from our overbooked life to really take advantage of that connection. If only there was a way to continue the conversation at a later date. 

Oh right, there is. Here's a simple way to ask someone out when you're in a hurry...​

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4 weeks ago

Crush The First Date Challenge By Using These Fundamentals

first date

Stop trying to control attraction and chemistry on a first date. Even legit chemists agree they have no idea what women want or why they like what they like.

While you can't control chemistry, you can certainly control your behavior.

Here's some basic as fuck first date (and more) etiquette that will give you the best chances of keeping her interested in you and double your odds of getting a second date...

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last month

Women Don’t Want to Hang out, They Want to Go Out

wanna hang out?

I’m not looking for friends. Don’t get me wrong, I love people.

I’m always in the process of bringing amazing people into my life, but life is short and my time is precious. I don’t have enough time to do everything I want to do, so making new friends isn’t a priority.

But meeting a partner is. I want love, and I want sex, and I want both to be good and plentiful.

When I meet someone I’m interested in, I refuse to let ambiguity and laziness rule my life.

That’s why I don’t ask people to hang out.Continue reading

last month

Exactly What to Say When You Meet Someone New

I still let fear get in the way of me living my life and meeting new people.

It happened yesterday, about 6 different times. No matter how much practice I get at approaching strangers, fear still grips me every now and then.

I was out shooting video for my YouTube channel. I'm making a video about ghosting and wanted to interview people about their experience. Even though I had a legitimate reason to approach people, I was still scared.

Here's the link to the video. It's about how ghosting is cowardly and lame. ​

What exactly was I scared of?

Everything

Rejection. Not knowing what to say. Bothering people. Not having anything worthwhile to contribute. Looking stupid. Not being able to explain myself. The list goes on....

Fear isn't really useful anymore. It came in handy when we were trying to not get eaten by mountain lions and dinosaurs. It kept us alert and helped us escape danger.

Now it mostly gets in the way of us doing what we want to do.

I have a lot of fear, but I also have a lot of things I want to do and accomplish.

I do scary things even though I'm scared of them

No matter how scared I am of doing something, fear won't kill me. It can't.

Here's a current list of things that scare me that I choose to do anyway:

  1. Making videos on YouTube. This is the scariest thing for me right now.
  2. Doing standup comedy. I have an 8 minute set tonight. I'm terrified. I'm going to do it anyway.
  3. Public speaking. The worse. Everyone hates this. I'm joining a Toastmasters club, my first meeting is next Tuesday.
  4. Talking to strangers. I still get scared. More on this later in the blog.
  5. Being honest with people I'm dating instead of ghosting them.

It's OK to have the fear, it's what you do with it that counts

I learned a lot in therapy. I learned about having sex without alcohol. I learned about not going to the hardware store for bread.

I also learned that having emotions is OK, it's what you do with those emotions that matter.

I used to get angry a lot. My therapist said that anger is a normal reaction, it's what you do with that anger that counts. Do I throw things and yell at my girlfriend (I've done both those things)? Or do I go for a walk, write about it, and call a friend to talk it out?

Same with fear. When I feel fear, do I walk away telling myself that I'm a loser? Or do I walk through the fear with my chin up, telling myself that I'm a badass?

Well. both. But I strive to do more scary things with my chin up.

The fear is usually worse than the reality

Every time I walk through a scary new experience, I learn that it was scarier in my brain than it actually was.

I didn't quit smoking for years because I was terrified of how terrible I thought it was going to be. I was convinced that I would suffer for months and be a total pain to be around.

Turns out the fear of quitting smoking was worse than the reality. Sure it was hard, and I was a pain to be around, but nowhere near as bad as my mind had made it out to be.

Same with meeting new people. When I see someone I want to talk to, my brain still tries to get in the way, telling me that it's not worth it, that I'll get rejected.

But I like meeting new people and while I'm happy being single, I don't want to be single forever. If I want to meet new people, I have to get over the fear of meeting new people.

So I wrote this.

Three Kickass Conversation Starters

I wrote this document for me initially. I like lists and I like strategies. But I need it to be easy, or else I'll forget what to say.

Meeting new people can be really scary, and I wanted to reduce the anxiety around meeting new people.

At the same time, I want to have fun with people. The best approaches are playful and honest, not pick up lines. I wanted fun, playful, and honest approaches to meeting new people.

I came up with 3. And then I put them in this PDF. You can have it, it's free. Sign up and I'll email it to you right away.

Meet Her Easily By Asking Her This One Thing...

Get your free "cheat sheet" and I'll give you

three stupid easy ways to approach any woman, anytime.

Enjoy these, they work in nearly all situations, not just for cute people you want to say hi to. Use them in your daily life and see your fear melt away when meeting new people.

last month

Dating Unavailable People Will Destroy Your Sanity

unavailable

People can be unavailable for different reasons.

Maybe they’re not available for the kind of relationship you’re looking for. They might want casual short term dating and you’re looking for something more serious.

Maybe they’re unavailable for your kind of relationship style. Some folks need constant communication and others prefer a lighter touch.

Or they might be unavailable because they’re just not interested in you and you’re not picking up the hints.Continue reading

last month

Stop Ghosting People Now And Start Being Honest

I’ve been ghosted before, it feels terrible.

I’d been living in Panama for 6 months. I moved there to start a hostel for motorcycle travelers riding from Central to South America. I was working 12 hour days 7 days a week. I didn’t speak Spanish, and I had a hard time meeting women.

People said not to worry. They told me everyone speaks English in Panama and the Latinas are going to love me.

They were wrong. I was spinning my wheels and getting desperate to meet someone, anyone.Continue reading

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