a few months ago

The 7 habits of highly sexual people. A guide for the sex starved.

highly sexual people

Why do highly sexual people have more sex than the rest of us? What can we do to catch up?

3 years ago I was driving a taxi in San Francisco

I’d come back from living in South America and I was broke. Driving taxi was fun at first, and then it was just brutal. And boring.

It’s a hard job. Driving 10 hours a day, getting home at 4 in the morning, frazzled from the beating my central nervous system took. I was cranked up at night and a zombie during the day.

Oh, and I had zero sex life but that’s not why I’m telling you this story

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a few months ago

It’s Valentine’s Day – 5 easy steps to get a date without online dating

valentinesday

It’s Valentine’s Day. You’re single. I’m single. Spring is coming. Meeting sexy people would be nice. Let’s do it without going online.

I’m with you. It’s been awhile. Winter is getting long but I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Spring is coming. Let’s blow the cobwebs out of our genitals and meet some new people.

Don’t feel like going online? Me neither. Let’s do something different instead.

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a few months ago

How To Stay In The Present With Your New Crush

fantasyland

Hi, I’m Shaun. Let’s have babies, build a cabin together, and travel the world. It’ll be great. 

I’ve been there more times than I care to admit.

OK, it’s five. Five times.

Every woman I’ve been in a relationship with (5 so far), I fantasize about our future together. No matter how much I try to stay grounded in reality, when I first meet a new partner, my mind goes to the same place.

But I’m not alone in engaging in Fantasyland talk. Most of the time, my partner joins in. After 1 month of dating my crazy ex, we already had a short list of baby names picked out. We’d have two girls.

We’re not dating anymore, obviously, but if you’re curious, here’s the short list: Scout, Kirby, Lennon, Chase, Ariadne, and Maisy. That’s right, we’d be those kinds of people. 

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a few months ago

The Best Way to Easily Make Friends

I still get nervous when I have to meet strangers

It happened a few days ago at a talk I attended on feminism, organized by the Concordia University Part Time Faculty Association.

I’ll be honest with you, I’m a bad feminist. If I was asked to describe feminism at gunpoint I’d be hard pressed to come up with anything more eloquent than “equal rights for women, too!”

Hence me attending talks on feminism. Working on it.

Needless to say, I was out of my element. It’s easier to meet people when you’re feeling confident and comfortable, it’s another when you’re out there pushing your comfort zone.

Meeting strangers can be nerve wracking. No matter how much practice I get at meeting new people, I still feel awkward.Continue reading

a few months ago

My Therapists Unusual Advice About Alcohol Free Sex

sex without alcohol

I used to drink a lot, now I don’t drink at all

That’s what I tell women on the first date. They order a glass of wine, and I order a soda water. I get a little sideways look, but most don’t care. It’s not an issue for them. I attract people who don’t care.

I bore sloppy drunks and sloppy drunks bore me. We have an understanding to stay out of each others way.

Every now and then people are curious about why I stopped drinking alcohol. I tell them a short story.Continue reading

a few months ago

Get What You Want By Acting Like It

intention

I wanted a girlfriend, so I acted like I wanted one, and it worked. The intention was set.

I met my last girlfriend on OKCupid. We’re not dating anymore but I still love her. I love most of my exes. Somehow I’m able to stay friends with them. No contact for 6 months probably has something to do with it.

I’d been single for about a year at this point and was starting to feel ready for a relationship. Winter was coming, I’d need someone to cuddle with on those cold San Francisco nights.

I set my intention that I was looking for partnership. I ‘put it out to the universe’ or whatever that meant. Continue reading

a few months ago

Comparing yourself to others is a losing proposition. Do this instead for increased gratitude

comparing

There’s one person you should be comparing yourself to every 6 months and it’s not Elon Musk

I had a neighbor back in the Bay Area

He had it all figured out, or at least I thought he did.

Nice girlfriend who he eventually married. Nice house which he eventually remodeled. Founder at one successful startup. Then founder at another. Money in the bank.

He has two beautiful kids and vacations in Hawaii. He’s a wood worker and gardener, and brews his own kombucha. Stays fit through surfing and mountain biking, and he’s really good at both.

You get the idea. He makes the most out of life. He’s good at life. More than that; he excels at it. Continue reading

a few months ago

Charm School Friday: How to save a dead conversation

How to keep the conversation going after the traditional throwaway greeting of “How are you?”

How are you? How ya doing? How’s it going? Howzit?

This is the standard greeting in North America:

Hi, how are you?

But no one expects you to answer truthfully, that would be awkward.

Well. Not great. My just wife left me for my best friend, my 16 year old daughter is fucking my drug dealer, and I have a growth on my left testical.

Instead we’re all either doing ‘great’, ‘good’, ‘fine’, ‘well’, or maybe ‘tired’.

And you?

I’m good.

And scene. Conversation over.Continue reading

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